the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
