Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
