So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
