I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
