its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
