We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
