fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
