Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
