and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
