that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
