His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
