I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
