yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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