I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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