hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
