Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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