that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
