Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
