i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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