you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
