Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
