Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
