How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
