Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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