You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
