I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
