Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
