direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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