brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I touched a dick in church today
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