Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
