my shit smells like andre
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
