i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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