Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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