We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
