i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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