fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
