Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
