I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
this hospital has no fireball
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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