The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm always down for nudity.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
