i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
