Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
