Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
