don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Even the bartender felt bad for me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
