I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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