That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
