just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
