No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
