I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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