just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
