she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dignity is for republicans.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
