Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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