IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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