For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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